The 'Do's' and 'Don'ts' of workplace friendships

09 June 2015

Strong workplace friendships will make you happier and more productive – but remember not to spread yourself too thin says Dr Suzanne Edinger, Assistant Professor of Organisational Behaviour at Nottingham University Business School.

Friendships raise the bar

Some employers discourage work-related socialising because they think it’s a waste of time. But research from Gallup linked close work friendships to higher employee satisfaction, claiming people with a best friend at work are seven times more likely to be motivated and productive.

It makes sense: if you feel your workplace relationships add to your life, you’re likely to be happier and more committed. Friendship ties also build trust and a sense of camaraderie, making us more willing to do work above and beyond our job description.

Flatter is friendlier

The flatter the management structure, the more opportunity you have for the free flow of information. In companies where staff are encouraged to communicate with everyone and share ideas, you’ll see a lot of friendships develop across hierarchies. It’s less common in organisations that focus on structure and job titles.

If you work in a more siloed organisation, assess the way cross-hierarchical or departmental friendships work so you don’t make social mistakes that could be detrimental to your career.

Big network, little network

Friendships can materially benefit organisations so cultivate them by all means. But don’t spread yourself too thin. Be mindful of the ties you form. You can have a lot of connections, but only a handful of them will be particularly valuable.

It may be better to develop a smaller set of strong ties. The stronger the relationship, the more value it will yield. This can be important for women, who may have more diverse but less powerful networks than men, according to a study by Lisa Torres and Matt L Huffman.

Preliminary findings from my own research with Payal Sharma of Rutgers Business School show that women typically create friendship ties with other women and work-related ties primarily with men. Men’s friendships tend to be both task-based and emotional, creating a stronger bond. So men tend to get more out of the time they invest in their networks while women’s networks are more likely to decay because they aren’t being maintained.

A friend in need

Workplace friendships can reduce unhealthy competition between staff. Take highly talented people, for example: research has shown they can be singled out by jealous peers who seek to undermine them. Here again, our research has shown that without the buffer of a workplace friendship, the performance of competent people suffers and so does the productivity of their team as a whole. The stronger the friendship, the more of a buffering effect it has on negative behaviour.

Managers should be aware of the potential protection a workplace buddy brings and should check in with high-flyers, rather than just assuming they’re OK. Better that others rise to the level of the best performers than the other way around.

Similarity breeds content

Broadly speaking, we make friends at work either to help us get something done (task related) or for emotional support (someone to have lunch with or talk about work-related problems). In either scenario, it’s easier to make friends with like-minded people and we tend to be influenced more by people we perceive to be similar to ourselves. The technical term for it is homophily, or the idea that similarity fosters connection.

Friendships of any kind require a lot of attention and it’s easier to make an effort with like-minded colleagues. When we try to form connections with people who are dissimilar, those ties tend to decay very quickly. So be realistic about the friendships you maintain. But don’t dismiss less emotionally led ties as one-sided: most of us have “water-cooler friends” who we wouldn’t necessarily spend an evening with, but that doesn’t mean they are not valuable friendships. The idea of reciprocity in network ties suggests that if I approach you for information, then you’ll probably reciprocate in future.

When it goes wrong

You can have real difficulties in a team if two erstwhile friends fall out. Their disagreement can spill over into tasks, impact others and damage productivity. Conversely, so can breaking up a friendship. If a close friend leaves an organisation, the work of the one left behind may suffer.

That said, overall, the pros of having friendships at work far outweigh the cons.