Identity and intimacy

Erikson defined the social and emotional developments that occur during the 16 to 19 age range as being characterised as, a move from a focus on self in terms of discovery of identity and role, towards one of intimacy which is more focused on others.

The focus on identity begins emotionally and socially in the younger adolescent, 11 to 15 years old, but changes in their expectations, the social and emotional situations they find themselves in and their deeper knowledge and appreciation of the world means that a 16 year old is able to complete the journey towards stable self and role identities.

By 16 adolescents are less possessive of their friends than they were in childhood. They recognise that friends need a degree of autonomy, as they do themselves and that friendships can survive disagreements. Nevertheless friends seem to be alike in identity status, educational aspirations, political views, willingness to take risks and to engage in law breaking acts.

Emergence of a stable self-identity leads towards a greater capacity for emotional intimacy. There is a need to develop more secure and intimate relationships or to face isolation. Young people begin to share themselves more intimately with others, exploring relationships and longer term commitments with someone other than a family member.

These early intense relationships can include emotional heights and painful challenges as first relationships may become established and then broken.