Emotions in action

Ella is 18 months old. Her language skills are great. She has 30 words - which is 10 more than most children have at this age. She goes to play gym and a music group with her dad on 2 days a week. She took a long time to get used to the activities. Lately, she has been hitting other children and has now started biting adults as well. What is happening?

What words would you use to describe how Ella is feeling?


Ella is feeling angry. In children, anger is quite a generic emotion and can be set off by frustration, anxiety and bewilderment. It is important to remember that anger is a feeling and aggression is behaviour. Anger is a temporary state caused by frustration. It is OK to feel anger but it is not OK to hurt other people. Ella is feeling out of control.

What could adults do to help her?


Adults need to stop the behaviour; stay calm and recognise her feelings, use gestures as well as words, offer an alternative and provide distraction. She may be better in a quiet place. Offer an alternative to expressing strong emotions. By attuning to Ella and mirroring her feelings she can learn that emotions can be contained and regulated.