'No One Speaks of It' by Emma Lee
No One Speaks of It
It started when dad turned vegetarian.
It’s easy to say he wanted to be young again.
He reached his target weight but continued
starving himself until his doctor ordered
him to eat again. He asked if I'd got it
from him. He couldn’t actually name it.
But I don’t know why I do it.
Dad asked if it was his fault.
I feel like a child when my wife
feeds me. It doesn't feel like my life.
Comments
Author: I came across the story of a man whose father had developed disordered eating and both father and son wondered if there was a genetic element to the disorder. His father found it impossible to talk about, which increased the son's sense of shame and reluctance to ask for help and support. The son's shame persists when his wife steps in makes him eat against his desire to not eat. Although she helps him on a physical level, he doesn't say whether she supports him emotionally. The son could offer an explanation - wanting to be young again - for his father's disordered eating, but couldn't offer an explanation for his own.
Our readers who ranked the poems:
- a strong theme of family through – the idea of patterns down through the generations
- contains very strong messages of why and how eating disorders manifest themselves. They clearly give a message of how ‘control’ is a big issue.
- ‘No one speaks of it’ powerfully portrays not only the impact of the eating disorder on the individual but also on the social network. It also gives an insight into the complex emotions that can manifest within families and how some of these early experiences really shape our relationship with food.
- love the time/generational transition between father-son to husband-wife. So powerful!
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