Understanding Excessive Exercise as part of an Eating Disorder
7. Personal experiences
Listening to personal experiences may help you gain a deeper understanding of the problems.
This short animated film (3.5 mins) has been co-produced with individuals who have experience of excessive exercise as part of an eating disorder and talk about it in their own words.
- Do you notice the link or links between excessive exercise and eating disorder for each person?
- Which stressors (events, thoughts, activities, words) can you spot that are affecting these individuals?
- Can you spot any forms of support that are helping them?
Task: Watch this animation and note down a couple of points for each of the three characters:
Transcript
This animation gives insights into experiences of exercising excessively as part of an eating disorder.
I just started to think that I need to look bigger. I need to look stronger.
Going to the gym was just part of my fatphobia. It was reinforced by the online fitness communities I was following. They emphasise a very particular obsessive way to eat and train in the gym.
I've had problems with binging and purging, so I've always felt like I didn't fit the typical eating disorder stereotype. My success of exercising and restricting the diet were a big part of my eating disorder. My body shape never really reflected that. I was worried that nobody would take my struggle seriously simply because I wasn't very thin.
Fitness social media says that you've got to be big and have, huge muscles, but also super lean and shredded. Never between. That means you can exercise as much as you want, even if it's extreme, as long as you look big, muscular and masculine. Nobody bats an eyelid at the gym. I never took steroids myself but I kind of understand why people do.
My gym lifestyle allows my anorexia to keep its teeth sunk into me. I was hiding behind this fitness routine that was actually praised by society as something that was great. I was completely overtraining and got tired, irritable and more stressed. The only way I knew how to handle those feelings was through exercise, so it was just a vicious cycle.
My only motivation was to lose weight exercise wasn't fun anymore. I wasn't nourishing my body with joy or expressive movement. I was punishing it with strict cardio exercises. My only interest was the number of calories that the treadmill said. I was burning off. To get better. I had to learn to listen to my body to be more gentle with myself.
Check in on the motives. Why are you gymming? Is this from a place of love or punishment. For someone at the gym to notice that. Just check in often to have a chat about it. You know, I didn't even think I could get help for it, so it was great that someone at my gym did.
Other Learner Notes
Character 1: Person 1His exercise seems to link to his ‘need’ to be muscular.
The posters in the gym saying ‘no pain no gain’ might be a stressor, also the mirrors everywhere might make it difficult too. Maybe the gym needs a space without mirrors?
Support came in the form of the personal trainer who spoke to him about support options and signposted him to support with the leaflet.
Person 2His exercise problems link to him comparing himself to people online.
He spoke about how social media was a stressor for him, and the culture around steroid use can be tempting for people like that.
The support came from learning a new way of exercising (taking up boxing) and from the conversations with the staff member.
Character 2: Person 1She says her fatphobia was a driving force for her issues. Maybe exercise is a way for her to reduce that fear.
Social media was making things worse for her, and so is the vicious cycle she spoke about.
Support came from learning about new ways of exercising and slowing down her movements.
Person 2She said the ‘gym lifestyle’ is what kept her anorexia struggles going.
Exercise was the only thing she did to deal with feeling stress, and society praised her for it.
Learning to exercise as a way of loving herself, instead of punishing herself. Recognising that more exercising isn’t always better.
Character 3: Person 1She feels ashamed of how she looks.
The mirror seemed to be a stressor for her, she was looking at herself during the video. Also she seemed to only use exercise as a way to lose weight, not for enjoyment, performance, or health.
Learning to exercise for fun was good for her, and stopping focusing on calories.
Person 2She spoke about how she only did exercise as a way to try and lose weight.
She felt that she didn’t look like how someone with an eating disorder should look, the mirrors probably didn’t help.
Learning to exercise in ways that aren’t focused around burning calories, and trying news ways of exercising that she enjoys.