Understanding Excessive Exercise as part of an Eating Disorder
19. Recap
Task 1: Our final task aims to bring together what you have learned. Please watch the short film again.
Transcript
This animation gives insights into experiences of exercising excessively as part of an eating disorder.
I just started to think that I need to look bigger. I need to look stronger.
Going to the gym was just part of my fatphobia. It was reinforced by the online fitness communities I was following. They emphasise a very particular obsessive way to eat and train in the gym.
I've had problems with binging and purging, so I've always felt like I didn't fit the typical eating disorder stereotype. My success of exercising and restricting the diet were a big part of my eating disorder. My body shape never really reflected that. I was worried that nobody would take my struggle seriously simply because I wasn't very thin.
Fitness social media says that you've got to be big and have, huge muscles, but also super lean and shredded. Never between. That means you can exercise as much as you want, even if it's extreme, as long as you look big, muscular and masculine. Nobody bats an eyelid at the gym. I never took steroids myself but I kind of understand why people do.
My gym lifestyle allows my anorexia to keep its teeth sunk into me. I was hiding behind this fitness routine that was actually praised by society as something that was great. I was completely overtraining and got tired, irritable and more stressed. The only way I knew how to handle those feelings was through exercise, so it was just a vicious cycle.
My only motivation was to lose weight exercise wasn't fun anymore. I wasn't nourishing my body with joy or expressive movement. I was punishing it with strict cardio exercises. My only interest was the number of calories that the treadmill said. I was burning off. To get better. I had to learn to listen to my body to be more gentle with myself.
Check in on the motives. Why are you gymming? Is this from a place of love or punishment. For someone at the gym to notice that. Just check in often to have a chat about it. You know, I didn't even think I could get help for it, so it was great that someone at my gym did.
Task 2: Now take a look at these three stills from the animation. Select one of your choice and reflect on the questions posed using the reflection tool provided. If you wish, you can compare your thoughts with these made by other learners. Notice that everyone notes different things and there is not really a right or wrong answer. Instead use this as a chance to reflect.
Reflection Tool - Character 1:
Reflection Tool - Character 2:
Reflection Tool - Character 3:
